


Coloured Lenses

by dontmindme_imafangirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 11:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13704036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontmindme_imafangirl/pseuds/dontmindme_imafangirl
Summary: Lance with his damn grin, showing off white teeth and crinkles by his eyes, glasses resting on his head and pushing tuffs of hair back and away from his face, and then another photograph, the softest of expressions on his face, his smile small and gentle, an emotion in them Keith can’t pinpoint.This isn’t love.He can’t let it be love.Tumblr Prompt: “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.” Lance to Keith.





	Coloured Lenses

*****

There’s something about looking at old photographs.  
It’s not tangible, it’s not an emotion you can really describe.

Keith would call it nostalgia, but it’s not, not really.

There’s nothing nostalgic in the photos where he stands alone, a pouty child that doesn’t look to the lens, the person behind it not catching his interest, not meeting his gaze.

There’s nothing nostalgic in the photographs he sent to his brother Shiro in his high school years, sitting behind a desk with bloodshot eyes and cigarettes roughly hidden in the background, photographs captured and sent only to prove that he’s alive and as well as he could be when staying alone, when his apartment was always too dark, too quiet. Too lonesome.

He supposes, though, that the feeling changes as he scrolls through his phone, looking to his recent photographs.

It starts slow.

A photograph of him, Shiro, Matt and Pidge, all looking to the camera with tired smiles, after a day of packing and moving; it was the day he and Pidge moved in together to start university, anxiety in their stomachs and a rush on their cheeks.

There’s more, of Pidge trying to reach a cupboard and standing on a chair on her tiptoes. Matt, playing video games with Shiro, his mouth open as if yelling, Shiro smirking as he glares at the screen.

Then come more people.

There’s Allura, her elbow resting cheekily on Shiro’s shoulder, looking to the lens with an effortless beauty, a small smile and a wink. Keith is somewhere in the background, his lips turned into a frown, a pile of books to his side.

Here comes Hunk next, a shy smile and hands forming the victory sign, Keith standing next to him with a neutral expression, Pidge in-between them holding a teddybear that’s the same height as her, the blinking lights of an arcade behind them.

Then there’s Lance.

A blurry photo at first, one he took himself with a casual smile and half lidded eyes, which he then instructed Keith to set as his contact photo.

Another of Lance and Hunk, devilish smirks and a few more with expressions more ridiculous than the other, on a day Keith left them unsupervised with his phone.

There’s a photo of Lance and Keith that Hunk took last year on halloween, dressed as Scully and Mulder, Lance’s height simply unfair in the short black heels he was wearing, his wig falling slightly to the side. Pidge is there too in the back, dressed in a green morph suit with beady black eyes, holding a sign saying ‘I want to believe’.

Keith won’t admit to taking the next few photos.  
If anyone asks, he’ll insist it wasn’t him that took them, that he doesn’t even know how they ended up on his phone.

But there’s a photo of Lance, his eyes shut and lips parted, his cheek resting on his palm, glasses pushed up and expression serene, half-asleep over a pile of medical books.

Keith only took it to tease him for it after, for falling asleep in the middle of a study session.  
He never expected his stomach to twist and turn, for his heart to leap, hands shakily begging to go through Lance’s hair, to feel the urge to kiss the silly expression off the boys’ lips.

There came more candid photos after that.  
Of Lance having coffee, the froth of it sticking to his upper lip like a moustache, one eyebrow arching as he recognises what happened. There’s sunlight hitting his eyes, making them impossibly lighter, his skin molten and expression incredulously adorable.

Lance, with his fingers hidden in his sweater and covering half his face, nose red from the cold, looking to the camera, to Keith with a frown, eyebrows furrowing yet eyes full of emotion.

Lance with his damn grin, showing off white teeth and crinkles by his eyes, glasses resting on his head and pushing tuffs of hair back and away from his face, and then another immediately after, the softest of expressions on his face, his smile small and gentle, an emotion in them Keith can’t pinpoint.

This isn’t love.  
He can’t let it be love.

Lance is Keith’s friend, has been for years now, and Keith would be lying if he said he didn’t dream of the day he could stand across Lance and tell him what he feels, what the butterflies in his stomach do to him, how his heart threatens to burst each time Lance smiles his way.

But he also knows that whatever it is he has with Lance is fragile, not malleable in the least bit.

He knows Lance, knows how he flirts, how he leans close and winks towards people he finds attractive, with that sly smirk and raising eyebrows, body languid in what he’s conveying.

He knows Lance would never choose him.

With a sigh, he puts his phone down, exiting the photos app, looking to the door of the half-empty coffee shop as the bell chimes over it clink, three figures he’s come to recognise in a crowd slowly entering and coming his way.

Keith nods and smiles, digging his nails in his palms when Lance takes notice of him and his lips turn upwards, a laugh and hello already on his tongue.

Keith can’t lose this.  
He can’t lose Lance.

Even if the feelings eat him up on the inside.

*****

It’s the middle of exam season, the library becoming Keith and Lance’s second home, Pidge and Hunk content to visit every so often and bring the two coffees and snacks, since their exam period is different from theirs; they’re in engineering and Lance and Keith are in medical sciences.

They’ve been at it since morning, gobbling up book after book, information entering and exiting their brains at impossible rates.

It’s around midnight when Lance groans across of him, stretching in his seat before slumping down, his chin hiding into the fabric of his hoodie.

“I’m tired” he exclaimed with a huff, slipping lower and lower into his seat.

“Drink some coffee?” Keith offered, nudging his still warm plastic cup to Lance who accepts is with a pout, bringing it to his lips before coughing and pushing it back to Keith in disgust.

“It’s sweet! It’s so sweet oh my god I feel my pancreas dying-“

Even through his antics Keith laughs, relishing in the way Lance exaggerates and frowns, going as far as to stick his tongue out, looking to the offending coffee with a menace.

“It’s not even that bad” Keith shrugged.  
“It is the living embodiment of bad” Lance retorted, “how do you even drink this?! It’s so sweet!”

Keith couldn’t prepare for what he’d say next.  
It was probably because of the fatigue, because of the blurriness in his vision, because of the stars he saw in Lance’s eyes when he turned to face him, big baby blues looking to him, hair tousled and lips pursed.

“ _You’re_ sweet.”

Neither of them spoke for a minute, simply looking to one another with wide eyes, Keith realising what he said a little too late.

Lance blinked once, twice, mouth flapping open and close before he looked away, his sleeve-covered knuckles reaching up to hide his face.

“Sweet-I’m-don’t tease me like that” he mumbled.

Keith was about to apologise, before Lance continued, catching him off guard.

“If anything, _you’re_ sweet” he whispered, so quiet it’d be otherwise lost in sound if not for the quietness of the library.

Keith said nothing, choosing instead to gulp and look back to his books, photos of bone and muscle swirling and blending, unable to delete the image of Lance’s flustered mind from his memory.

He wished he could have snapped a photo of that expression.  
He just prayed his mind would never remove it from memory.

*****

The instances where Keith’s tongue slipped increased, and so did the times Lance would stare and blush, hiding into the comfort of his sleeves and shaking his head as Keith pondered why he’d just said whatever it is he’d just said.

He wasn’t sure why, but there was something about the way Lance shied away that made his chest grow tight, heartbeat increasing.

Lance was never one to shy away from attention.  
He relished in the way people called him handsome or smooth, he’d smirk when girls giggled at his jokes, wink to boys who flirted back.

Why would he shy away from a mere comment of Keith’s?

The thoughts ate Keith up inside, to the point where he’d stay up at night, sitting on his windowsill with a dying cigarette, looking to the sky for answers, but to no avail.

He wouldn’t get his answer until a month later, on a lazy night at his apartment when Pidge was out with Matt and Allura.

He was content with staying in for the night, maybe get some work done and play some of the video games Shiro brought with him on his last visit.

It was nearing midnight when his phone buzzed, getting two messages at once.

_(1) Pidgetron: “ay keef, im stayin @ alluras tonight. dont burn the house down k”_

He sighed and replied a quick ‘OK’, heading to the text under hers.

_(1)Lancey Lance: “hey can are u at home?”_

That made him sit up from the couch he was laying on, looking intensely to his phone.

“Yeah, what’s up?” He replied hastily, holding his phone in his hand while he walked around the apartment, waiting for a reply.

His phone buzzed soon enough, a few consecutive messages in a row.

_(4)Lancey Lance: “can i come over?”  
(3)Lancey Lance: “its late but i just..”  
(2)Lancey Lance: “no never mind, its fine”  
(1)Lancey Lance: “goodnight :)”_

Keith clicked his tongue and wasted no time punching in Lance’s number and calling, waiting a few rings until Lance picked up.

“Hey, my favourite Mulletman-“ Lance started, and the hoarseness of his voice, strained with the faked high-pitch happiness made Keith’s stomach churn.

“You can come over, or I’ll come by. What’s better for you?”

He heard Lance’s breath hitch, before returning to the same tone as before.

“It’s about the texts isn’t it-look it’s no big deal, I’m sorry I worried you-“

“Lance, don’t. I know you. You don’t-you don’t have to do this.” He breathed into the phone, moving to the door and already grabbing his coat and motorcycle keys, “I’ll be at your place in 20 minutes. Is Hunk there?”

Lance gulped.  
“No. He’s at that hiking club weekend camp.”

Keith hummed in response, locking the door and heading down the hallway.  
“I’ll be there soon.”

Lance said nothing, and that in itself worried Keith.

“See you soon Lance” he said before moving the phone away from his ear.

“…Thanks” he heard Lance say before disconnecting the call.

*****

True to his word, he was there within 15 minutes, standing outside Lance and Hunk’s apartment, waiting for Lance to get to the door.

Lance opened it, and the view of him was something Keith wished he’d never have to see again.

Lance’s eyes were red and puffy, his smile strained and bleary, looking scrawnier than Keith remembered him in his oversized shirt and sweatpants, gait slow and tired.

Keith walked in, and a few minutes later found them on the balcony, looking down to the busy city through the bed of flowers and succulents Hunk and Lance planted on the sill, an ashtray balancing between them.

The times Keith saw Lance smoke were rare.   
There was the odd time during finals, when the stress got too much and the bitter taste was a welcome distraction. There’s a photo somewhere in Keith’s phone of the sight, Lance’s eyes half-lidded and lips pursed as he blows out smoke, thick lashes posing shadows on his cheekbones.

This time was different.  
Lance was slow and deliberately quiet, illuminated only by the city lights and occasional red and blue of a passing police car, face taunt and back slumped, elbows resting on the metal bars not covered yet by leaves.

Keith couldn’t take it, being so close but unable to do something, to bring the smile he loved back.

“You know” he started, his breath coming out as misty smoke in the cold air, “we don’t have to talk about it. Not if you don’t want to. But you-you should know that I’ll be here if you need anything okay? I can stay over until Hunk comes back, or I can call Pidge or Allura for you-“

He didn’t get to finish his sentence before he got an armful full of Lance, his hands opening in instinct before coming to rest on Lance’s shaking back, Lance’s head on his chest.

It was short, just enough to feel the warmth of the taller boy before Lance hurriedly pulled back, shaking his head.

“You’re-you’re really too damn good. I don’t deserve you.”

The words made Keith shiver, the way Lance whispered them, the air too tense, the city noise and bustle quieting down for this moment between them.

Lance’s breaths were ragged and shaky as he continued.

“I don’t deserve to love you.”

Keith stared as Lance huffed a laugh while pushing the butt of his cigarette to the ashtray, eyes purposely looking away from him.  
His smile tugged down, turning into a frown, into gritted teeth as his nose scrunched up and his jaw clenched, tears coloured by street lamps pooling on the sides of his eyes.

Lance rubbed furiously at his face with the back of his sleeve, the sounds of quiet sobs each like a kick to Keith’s chest.

“I-I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death” Lance whispered between cries, curling into himself.

Keith took a step closer, unable to form words, unable to comprehend what he’d just heard.

“It’s been like this for so long and-and I didn’t mean to, I don’t want to ruin this and I know I shouldn’t, and it won’t lead anywhere, but it hurts it hurts so much to keep it a secret for so long and it’s been-“

“Lance-“

“I know you’re the literal perfection and I’m just me and there’s a million reasons you shouldn’t like me back I know that and it’s dumb but-“

“Lance I-“

“I’ve got a messed up head and I cry too much and speak too loud and I’m too insecure and obnoxious and-“

“ _LANCE!_ ”

His voice cut through their previous whispered conversation, through the barricade Lance had made with his hands in front of his face, his back on the wall and blinking eyes staring to Keith.

Keith took two steps and bridged the distance between them, his hands meeting Lance’s wrists and gently tugging them down, never breaking eye contact.

“I’m gonna kiss you now. Is that okay?”

Lance’s tears stopped, his lips trembling.

“Is that okay?” Keith repeated, waiting stubbornly for an answer.

Lance’s expression was one of frozen shock but he nodded, and that was all the invitation Keith needed before tilting his head up and kissing him, slow and careful, contrasting the way he still held Lance’s wrists in both hands, pinning him against the wall before releasing his hands in favour of cupping his face, rubbing the remainder of his tears with his thumbs.

“I love you. God dammit I’m in love with you, been in love with you for so long” he said between kisses, Lance’s breaths now matching his, “and you tell me we’ve been in love with each other all this time? That we were both too scared to admit it?”

Keith breathed a laugh, his own tears welling up, only different, happier, like anguish being released from his heart.

“Ridiculous. You stand there, trying to tell me you’re not the literal sun in a human form, listing off things I love about you like they’re flaws-“ he rolled his eyes and kissed Lance again until they were both gasping for air, looking to one another, Lance’s eyes still wide and lips parted, Keith’s stare stern and leaving no room for Lance to question his feelings.

“You don’t-when? Since when?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s since the first time we met. It just took a while to realise it.”

“We-we love each other?”

“Yeah, we do” Keith laughed, knocking his forehead onto Lance’s.

“You don’t think I’m not worth it?”

Keith moved back, looking to Lance, Lance with his face flushed despite the winter cold, lips plump and tear lines dried and etched onto his cheeks, palms on the wall to support his shaking legs.

“You’re absolutely worth it. And I’ll be here with you, for you until you realise it. And after that” Keith breathed, his words sincere and voice shaking, “As long as you want me.”

“You’ll get tired.” Lance retorted.

“Never.”

“I cry a lot.”

“I know.”

“No like, a _lot_. And I complain. Constantly. And take too long to get ready.”

Keith snorted.  
“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“And you love me?”

He smiled.  
“I love you,” he said, “I was scared, I was so damn scared thinking you’d never love me back, trying to convince myself I was fine with us just being friends but-but I can’t. I love you.”

Lance was the one to take a step forward this time, moving from the wall and onto Keith, wrapping him in a bruising hug.

“You smell like smoke.”

They both laughed, the sounds of cityscape returning.

“And you taste like it, but you don’t see me complaining now do you?” Keith smirked, the sarcasm in his tone a trait Lance had managed to rub off onto him.

The laugh that followed is something he could only wish he’d be able to capture on film.

For now he was content to let it ring in his ears for as long as he could let it.

****

A few hours later found them huddled in Lance’s bed, content to look to one another, whispering quiet reassurances and sleepy ‘I love you’s.

Lance went to wrap an arm around Keith’s waist, wincing and sitting back up when his hands made contact with the hem of Keith’s high waisted jeans.

“You-you’re wearing pants!” Lance shrieked.

“Yeah..?”   
Keith’s cheeks felt like they were on fire. What-what was Lance saying?!

“You are wearing _skinny jeans_ , in _bed_.” Lance stated, “What the hell Keith?”

Lance moved, leaning out of his bed and reaching for his drawers.

“No skinny jeans allowed in bed. Nuh-uh. Here” he grabbed a pair of sweatpants, throwing them to Keith’s chest, “put on something comfortable!”

Keith raised an eyebrow.

“Why? They’re pretty comfy, and I don’t have to get up and change in the morning”

The look Lance gave him could only be described as heinous.

“Change, now, or risk spending the night without cuddles.”

Keith didn’t need to be told twice.

****  
A pair of sweatpants and folded jeans later, Lance was laying in bed, scrolling through his phone, his small giggles and sleepy eyes brighter with the screen’s light, tuffs of hair pushed away from his eyes.

He turned to Keith with a grin when he sat back down on the bed, Lance wasting no time in tugging Keith back down and besides him, phone still in hand.

“A selfie!” He huffed, opening his camera app and turning it to the front-facing lens, “we need a selfie! This is an important event.”

Keith smiled but shook his head.  
“I look like death.”

“You look handsome as always. _I_ look like death, and I want a selfie”

Lance pouted, making it impossible for Keith to not kiss the pout off his lips.

He pulled away when he heard the click of a camera.

“Ha!” Lance grinned victoriously, then turned to face the screen as he took one more photo, just in time for Keith to look to the phone with a bemused gaze.

Lance tugged the phone closer to his chest, clicking through the two photos and showing them to Keith.

They were a bit blurry, both of them looking worse for wear, Keith’s cheeks puffed and Lance’s smirk devilish, a glint in his eyes that spelled trouble in the second pic, his eyes blown wide and face half hidden in the first one, Keith’s face turned to the side and lips meeting Lance’s.

“I’m using that as a screensaver” Lance stated.

Keith sleepily hummed, throwing a hand over Lance’s chest.

He made a mental note to tell Lance to send him those photos tomorrow.

After all, they’d have a millions tomorrows to share together from now on.

****

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for not posting anything for a while, and for posting something ive had on tumblr for a while now instead of something new ^^' real life has been kicking me relentlessly lately, but i'll be back with new stuff soon <3
> 
> if you liked this, please consider checking out my tumblr mothgane.tumblr.com and feel free to shoot me a message there :D


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